The Best Books for Child Anxiety and Behavior Problems (Organized by Age)
You're standing in the bookstore (or scrolling online), searching for a book that might help your child understand their big feelings. Maybe they're anxious, struggling with anger, or having trouble with behavior.
But there are thousands of children's books about feelings. How do you know which ones actually help?
As a child therapist, I recommend books to families constantly. This is my curated list of the absolute best books for anxiety, behavior, and emotional regulation—organized by age group so you can find exactly what your child needs right now.
Why Books Help (When Used Right)
Books aren't magic. They won't cure anxiety or fix behavior problems on their own.
But they can:
Give your child language to describe their feelings
Normalize their experience ("Other kids feel this way too!")
Teach concrete coping strategies
Open up conversations about difficult topics
Make abstract emotions more concrete
How to Use These Books Effectively:
Read together. Don't just hand your child the book. Read it with them so you can discuss it.
Ask questions. "Have you ever felt like this?" "What do you think the character should do?"
Revisit when needed. Keep anxiety books accessible for moments when your child is feeling anxious.
Model skills. If the book teaches deep breathing, practice it together.
Don't force it. If your child isn't interested in a particular book, try a different one.
Books for Ages 2-5
For Anxiety and Worry:
"The Invisible String" by Patrice Karst Best for: Separation anxiety Why it works: This book introduces the concept that you're always connected to your loved ones, even when apart. It's comforting without being dismissive of real fears.
"The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn Best for: Separation anxiety, starting school Why it works: A classic for a reason. The tangible "kiss in the hand" gives kids something to hold onto when they miss their parents.
"Wilma Jean the Worry Machine" by Julia Cook Best for: General worry and anxiety Why it works: Introduces the concept of a "worry" as something separate from yourself that you can learn to manage. Great for kids who worry about everything.
"The Worrysaurus" by Rachel Bright Best for: General anxiety Why it works: Perfect for young kids. Shows that everyone worries sometimes, and you can be brave even when you're scared.
For Big Emotions and Tantrums:
"The Color Monster" by Anna Llenas Best for: Identifying and sorting emotions Why it works: Makes abstract emotions concrete through colors. Helps kids learn to identify what they're feeling.
"When Sophie Gets Angry – Really, Really Angry" by Molly Bang Best for: Anger management Why it works: Shows anger as a normal emotion and models healthy ways to calm down (taking space, being in nature).
"The Way I Feel" by Janan Cain Best for: Emotional vocabulary Why it works: Simple, rhyming book that names common emotions and validates that all feelings are okay.
"Llama Llama Mad at Mama" by Anna Dewdney Best for: Tantrums, frustration Why it works: Relatable scenario (waiting at the store) and shows that parents understand even when they set limits.
For Behavior and Social Skills:
"Hands Are Not for Hitting" by Martine Agassi Best for: Hitting, aggression Why it works: Simple, direct, and shows what hands ARE for, not just what they're not for.
"My Mouth Is a Volcano" by Julia Cook Best for: Interrupting, impulsivity Why it works: Uses fun visuals to show what interrupting feels like and teaches the skill of waiting your turn.
Books for Ages 6-8
For Anxiety and Worry:
"What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety" by Dawn Huebner Best for: General anxiety, worry Why it works: Interactive workbook that teaches actual CBT strategies. This is my #1 recommendation for anxious kids this age. Parents and kids work through it together.
"Hey Warrior" by Karen Young Best for: Understanding anxiety Why it works: Explains the neuroscience of anxiety in kid-friendly terms. Helps kids understand WHY they feel the way they do.
"Ruby Finds a Worry" by Tom Percival Best for: Anxiety that feels overwhelming Why it works: Beautiful illustrations and shows that worries shrink when you talk about them. Great for kids who keep anxiety inside.
"Outsmarting Worry: An Older Kid's Guide to Managing Anxiety" by Dawn Huebner Best for: Kids on the older end of this range with anxiety Why it works: Another interactive workbook with practical strategies. More sophisticated than the "Worry Too Much" book.
For Perfectionism and Self-Criticism:
"The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes" by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein Best for: Perfectionism, fear of failure Why it works: Shows what happens when you're brave enough to make mistakes. Funny and relatable.
"Ish" by Peter H. Reynolds Best for: Perfectionism in creative tasks Why it works: Introduces the concept of "good enough" and the value of trying even when things aren't perfect.
For Big Emotions:
"The Zones of Regulation" books by Leah Kuypers Best for: Emotional regulation (often used in schools) Why it works: Color-coded system for identifying emotion levels and choosing coping strategies. Very practical.
"The Invisible Boy" by Trudy Ludwig Best for: Feeling left out, loneliness Why it works: Addresses social isolation beautifully and shows the power of inclusion.
For Behavior:
"Personal Space Camp" by Julia Cook Best for: Respecting boundaries, personal space Why it works: Funny and direct about a common problem. Teaches the concept of personal space bubbles.
Books for Ages 9-12
For Stress and Overwhelm:
"Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Kids" by Jennifer Solin and Zachary Solin Best for: Emotional dysregulation, intense emotions Why it works: Based on DBT principles. Teaches distress tolerance and emotion regulation skills.
For Social Anxiety and Friendship:
"The Survival Guide for Making and Being Friends" by James J. Crist Best for: Social skills, friendship struggles Why it works: Direct, practical advice without being condescending. Addresses real issues preteens face.
"Speak Up and Get Along!" by Scott Cooper Best for: Assertiveness, conflict resolution Why it works: 21 specific strategies for standing up for yourself, dealing with bullies, and resolving conflicts.
For Self-Esteem and Confidence:
"You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion" by Margaret O'Hair Best for: Feeling different, self-acceptance Why it works: Celebrates differences and teaches that everyone belongs.
"Big Life Journal" (journal/workbook series for different ages) Best for: Building resilience and growth mindset Why it works: Not a traditional book—it's an interactive journal with stories, activities, and prompts. Kids love it.
For Anger Management:
"Anger Management Workbook for Kids" by Samantha Snowden Best for: Anger, impulse control Why it works: Interactive activities that teach identification of triggers and coping strategies.
Books for Parents (To Better Support Your Child)
Understanding Anxiety:
"Freeing Your Child from Anxiety" by Tamar Chansky This is the go-to book for parents of anxious kids. Explains anxiety clearly and gives you strategies that actually work.
"Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD" by Eli Lebowitz Essential if your child's anxiety is controlling the whole family. Teaches you how to support without accommodating.
Understanding Behavior:
"The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene For kids with extreme defiance, tantrums, or oppositional behavior. Paradigm-shifting approach.
"1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan Simple, effective discipline system. Easy to implement and backed by research.
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish Classic for a reason. Changes how you communicate with your kids in profound ways.
Understanding Your Child's Brain:
"The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson Helps you understand why your child acts the way they do. Makes behavior make sense.
"The Yes Brain" by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson Follow-up to Whole-Brain Child. Teaches resilience and a growth mindset.
Special Topics
For Selective Mutism:
"The Selective Mutism Resource Manual" by Maggie Johnson & Alison Wintgens (parent resource)
For Sensory Processing Issues:
"The Goodenoughs Get in Sync" by Carol Stock Kranowitz (ages 4-8)
"The Out-of-Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz (parent resource)
For ADHD:
"I Can't Sit Still! Living with ADHD" by Pam Pollack and Meg Belviso (ages 6-10)
"Taking Charge of ADHD" by Russell Barkley (parent resource)
For Trauma and Grief:
"A Terrible Thing Happened" by Margaret M. Holmes (ages 4-8)
"The Invisible String" by Patrice Karst (ages 3-8, also great for loss)
"When Dinosaurs Die" by Laurie Krasny Brown (ages 4-8, death/grief)
How to Choose the Right Book
With so many options, how do you decide?
Consider Your Child's:
Age: Don't go too young or too old. The right developmental level matters.
Reading level: If your child struggles with reading, choose something visual or that you can read together.
Interests: A book about a dinosaur with anxiety might work better than a book about a kid with anxiety if your child loves dinosaurs.
Specific challenge: Choose books that address the exact issue (separation anxiety vs. social anxiety vs. perfectionism).
Personality: Some kids want science and facts. Others want stories and feelings. Match the book to your kid.
Tips:
Preview books first if possible (Amazon's "Look Inside" feature is helpful or the library)
Read reviews from other parents
Check if your child's school or therapist has recommendations
Don't buy 10 books at once–start with 1-2
If one doesn't work, try another. Not every book resonates with every child.
Don't Forget Your Local Library!
Most libraries have excellent children's sections with books about emotions and behavior. Librarians are often happy to help you find what you need and it's free.
Bonus: You can "test drive" books before buying them.
The Bottom Line
Books are one tool in your toolbox for supporting your child's emotional health and behavior. They work best when:
You read together and discuss
You use them alongside other strategies (therapy, behavior systems, etc.)
You choose books that match your child's specific needs and developmental level
You revisit them regularly, not just once
The right book at the right time can make a real difference.
Start with one or two books from this list that seem like the best fit for your child right now. Read together, talk about the strategies, and practice them in real life.
Need More Than Books?
Books are wonderful resources, but sometimes kids need more personalized support.
If your child's anxiety or behavior challenges are:
Interfering with daily life
Not improving with the strategies you've tried
Causing significant distress for your child or family
Getting worse instead of better
It might be time to talk to a professional.
I specialize in evidence-based therapy for child anxiety and behavior problems, including:
Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)
Therapy for anxiety and selective mutism
Strategies for managing difficult behaviors
Let's talk about whether therapy might help your child.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation or visit my contact page.
